Keep sweet talking me, this could go a whole new direction.
As far as Gwen could tell, Meg had either missed her comment or mercifully chosen not to respond to it. She’d essentially just stated ‘I still love you' and she hadn't exactly tried to take it back, but the ground they stood on was still too shaky for that point to be her only support. The concept of a bedroom was so much easier to grasp but Gwen realized her mistake soon enough. She had just requested they be confined to a small, intimate space for the sake of… what? Privacy? That was a laugh. The last time they'd done this had been in Meg's old room, the one they shared on most good nights. Presumably, Lucifer now resided there. Gwen briefly tried to entertain thoughts about what sort of neighbour he would be because she was, once again, trying to stall for time.
She watched Meg pick up the box of supplies again and considered the offer. It was tempting to keep the demon in her sight, partly out of some irrational fear and partly because she couldn’t stand to face this situation alone. Finally, she let out a low sigh and resigned. While Meg headed into the kitchen, Gwen let herself into the bedroom Meg’s glance had indicated. The last time they’d stayed at Sherlock’s, they’d ended up in his room. As strange and cold as those few weeks had been, they really were happier times.
The room was simple enough: it held the necessities and was clearly used for sleeping. Meg had apparently been spending most of her time on the sofa watching the Netflix. Gwen caught sight of a few little touches that were very Meg and she grinned sadly to herself. She was apprehensive, though, and she couldn’t quite get comfortable. Sitting on the bed would just feel wrong, leaning against the wall would seem too casual. She found herself in front of a mirror instead and tugged briefly at a section of her hair fringe, pretending to straighten it out while really just trying to form and maintain a neutral expression. It was no good. Her heart was racing and she could only consider so many variables.
The fact that she was very much still in love with Meg didn’t even need saying. Gwen just couldn’t be sure of what she risked by picking up this fight after she’d spent weeks hiding from it. She quickly resolved to act as though Jack was watching. Sound or no sound, the cameras were glitching, but they never lied. Assuming she had a minute or so alone while Meg sorted the goods in the kitchen, Gwen studied her reflection and she tried a few lines aloud, trying to decide where she would start the conversation and what she could leave out. Retcon wasn’t an option this time and neither was running away. She’d only get one shot.
"I feel kind of uneasy…" Gwen subconsciously checked for the gun that rarely ever left her side. Seeing it still safe and loaded and cool to her touch, she let that hand drop back to her side. "But I don’t think you’d do it again, because even when you did stab me, it was- you didn’t try to kill, you-" Shaking her head to dismiss that train of thought like it was a bad taste in her mouth, Gwen scowled and tried a different approach. "I’ve been sleeping with someone. You’ve got a right to know, but it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like you and me. It’s not." That wasn’t very good either. The only other approach she could think of involved a very obvious and pathetic plea that they could work things out and be together in every sense of the word even if it did seem hopeless. Gwen spun slowly back to face the door.
Meg had insisted to herself that she was just going to place all the items in the box away and then she was going to make her way towards her bedroom to have that talk with Gwen. Whatever that talk would entail would be left to Meg’s imagination in the current moment. Of course, it took the demon a lot longer than she expected to put the items away, though having her memory basically distracted was as good as any reason. Sighing, she leaned against the counter before staring hard at the last remaining contents of the box. It would be easy for her to walk out of the house now, to spare both Gwen and Sherlock from any future mishaps that she may find herself in.
But what stopped her from leaving, what always stopped her from leaving was her unyielding loyalty. Whether it was to Azazel, to Lucifer, to Castiel, to the Winchester’s and ultimately to Gwen and Sherlock, she always found that she wouldn’t leave any of them. If she left now it would mean she was giving up, and Meg wasn’t one for giving up. Sighing once more, the demon forced herself to put away the ingredients that were left before quickly checking the fridge to see if Sherlock had ate anything. Noting that some stuff seemed to be missing, she smiled lightly before mentally preparing herself to meet Gwen once more.
Quietly, she made her way down the hall. Chewing at her bottom lip, Meg paused just short of the door as she heard Gwen talking to herself. Raising a brow, the demon grew closer and listened in. She knew that she probably shouldn’t eavesdrop, but she was also curious. What was it that Gwen had to tell her? It certainly was better to overhear a little bit so that she wasn’t walking in blind. Hearing Gwen state she felt uneasy though, made Meg’s heart drop. Gwen had every right to feel uneasy, especially after what she’d done to her. Though, what Gwen had said next caused a small, but genuine smile to form at her lips.
However the next bit of information sent a pang of jealousy down her spine. Once again, Gwen had every right to do whatever she pleased. After all it wasn’t like the two of them were together anymore, but it still hurt. It still very much hurt to hear that Gwen had been getting by better than Meg had. And for that, Meg felt a sort of stupid bit of resentment. Keeping her face neutral, Meg pushed the door open slowly and entered the room. Closing the door, but not quite shutting it, Meg moved to lean against her wall as she faced her ex girlfriend.
She didn’t know where to start, and that made her mad. At least mad at herself. She had so much to say, but none of it wanted to come out. Finally, Meg tore her gaze from Gwen and focused on a pile of books she kept in the corner. “When I snapped, it was my craving. I don’t know why it hit me like it did, but it did. I think that, even though I was not me, I still had a little me in there. I think-no, I know that’s why you’re still here. Gwen I-” Meg paused and slowly, almost painfully, forced herself to look at her ex girlfriend once more. “I want so badly to go back to that day and to warn you. I regret everything that happened in that kitchen on that day. I’m so sorry.”
Thank you for your input, I really wish you’d have sent this off anon so I could answer you privately rather than openly, but I’ll answer nonetheless, mainly because I wanted you to know I’ve seen your ask.
I am going to do something that’s important for the plot. I have no intentions of having her go out without a fight or for a good reason. Meg is far too important to me to just let her die without a cause.
I’ve had quite a few people come to me and offer solutions and such, but I haven’t fully made up my mind yet, but just know the route I’m going to choose to take will be a good one and I will do my best to do Meg justice.
Thank you for offering ideas. :)
Sherlock’s a very smart man, he’s more capable than most people of finding out who to trust. I’ve learned very recently not to judge people based on what they are. It’s very likely wrong.
Hello! It’s lovely to meet you. Well… sorry, sort of. Over the Internet.
You know Sherly from his world, right? Must be fun to know him in his natural environment.
Sherlock’s a very smart man, he’s more capable than most people of finding out who to trust. I’ve learned very recently not to judge people based on what they are. It’s very likely wrong.
Thanks. Really. Sorry I haven’t introduced myself earlier, but yeah, hi, I’m Meg, the demon the anons are talking about.
— my body is a cage
They did most of that walk in silence. Gwen was grateful for the time it gave her to think. At times, her steps were more hesitant and she tried to blame it on the box she was carrying rather than her nerves or conscience. Going from the Town Hall to Sherlock’s technically meant covering half of their universe. The fact that it took so little time was quickly added to the list of things Gwen wasn’t wanting to think about just then. Meg dragged her away from those thoughts when she took the supplies into her own hands. The contact was as brief as it was gentle, but it was unexpected, enough that Gwen felt her breath hitch.
She surrendered the box simply enough but she could just as easily have dropped it. It wasn’t like her to be so skittish and quiet but she was also coping with a rush of unjustified paranoia. In the months they’d known each other and the weeks and weeks they’d been in love, Meg had hurt her exactly once. Sherlock took the demon in after that and he remained unscratched. He was either forgiving or just indifferent enough to risk it. Either way, Gwen was bit jealous. A part of her was terrified, another was still confused and angry about everything from that fateful night, but the rest was broken and so bloody tired.
Meg missed her too. Hearing the admission sent her remaining walls crumbling. Gwen had nothing left to hide how she really felt about this. She didn’t even try. The look on her face was one she’d borne too much lately: all the sorrow and defiance she could put on display whilst letting just a hint of hope break through but she met Meg’s eyes as best she could and felt like a kind of understanding passed between them. As far as she knew, none of the goods they’d brought needed to be refrigerated so she’d be content to let the box sit on the floor where Meg had left it.
She wasn’t sure herself what she wanted to know from that vague question about Sherlock. Meg’s answer sufficed. It meant he was okay and there was no need to call out to him. If the detective was in the house, he’d hear them and find his way into the conversation sooner or later. Gwen almost hoped for it. She might feel safer and more casual that way even if it did ruin a road she could imagine going down with Meg. She’d figured out during their brief trek to the house that she wasn’t here to make up- not yet, but just to figure out where she stood because the ground had certainly changed since their last encounter. “Yeah,” she nodded a moment before she realized they verbally hadn’t moved past the subject of Sherlock.
"I-I’m sure he’s fine," Gwen said, seemingly a little too anxious to jump to the next point while she still had the resolve to do so. "I really tried," she redirected poorly and in a whisper. She was referring to a point she made awhile ago: the fact that she didn’t know how to stop loving Meg even if it was in her best interest. Meg would probably know this but on the off chance that it really needed saying, she’d need a moment to phrase it better. The cop crossed and uncrossed her arms, looking almost defensive. She considered moving to lean against the nearest wall for support before she found a slightly more tempting solution. "Are you still staying in the spare bedroom?" She asked, risking another attempt at meeting the demon’s eyes. "Can we talk there?"
Meg eyed Gwen curiously, the woman still had apprehension and what seemed to be a bordering fear that could verge quickly into a fight or flight situation if Meg were to accidentally make any wrong movements. Which, noting to herself, she decided to steer very clear of the kitchen and anything that resembled a breadbox or a knife. Chewing on her bottom lip, Meg finally managed a small smile before letting a sigh through her nostrils. Hugging her arms close to her body, Meg glanced down towards the flooring and then to the box before looking back up and meeting Gwen’s gaze.
Hearing the hesitation in her voice made Meg’s smile drop and guilt to quickly take over. She still had so much to blame herself for that if she wasn’t a demon, she’d be sure she’d be physically ill from it all. Or she’d be coping with it the same way Dean did; drinking, fucking, and lashing out at anyone who ever tried to be nice to him. Raising a brow at her own realization, Meg stared off at the space just past Gwen’s shoulder. That was where her problems laid. It was within her guilt. It was obvious, but if it was a snake it would have bit her. Rolling her eyes at her mental use of the over used phrase, Meg let her arms drop once more by her sides.
Gwen had said something in between Meg’s introvert conversation, and it caused the demon to narrow her eyes in confusion as she refocused onto her ex girlfriend. It had to have been something important, something that more than likely pertained to the two women’s past relationship. Mentally scolding herself once more, Meg went to part her lips to speak before letting the words die at her tongue. ‘Are you still staying in the spare bedroom?' Alarm bells rang off within Meg's mind. The last time the two were in a bedroom together they both had a giant mental breakdown that had made their relationship come to a screeching finality.
Catching Gwen’s gaze this time and hoping to lock her in it, Meg nodded once before closing her eyes and shaking her head so that she could refocus on everything. “Uh… yeah, yes, yes I am.” She was about to add on a ‘why?’ when Gwen spoke out her second question. A plethora of mixed emotions swelled within the demon’s body as she stole a glance towards the direction of her spare room. Tearing her eyes back to Gwen, Meg slightly widened them before nodding once more. “Sure. Uhm, let me just put this stuff away and I can meet you in there?”
Meg needed a distraction to mentally prepare herself for this talk. She wasn’t sure where this was going, but she hoped for only the best. Of course being who she was and what line of work she normally was in, hope wasn’t exactly the best thing to rely on. Bending over, Meg picked up the box and began to b-line for the kitchen, only to realize she did the exact opposite of what she told herself that she wasn’t going to do. Hopefully Gwen wasn’t going to make a connection of it, because that was the last thing Meg wanted to do to her… again.
Meg’s reaction to the baking ingredients set aside for her was better than Gwen had even dared to hope for. It actually warmed her heart to hear an almost optimistic tone from the woman she still loved. Gwen was still avoiding eye-contact but she caught sight of Meg’s smile and she nearly let it break her. Here, it really was the thought that counted. That box held nothing really useful or impressive but it stood as Gwen’s way of saying she still cared and didn’t know how to stop caring. Surely, Meg could see that.
It was too late to retract her offer so Gwen quickly worked up the courage and the strength she’d need to move and probably also to speak with her ex. She tried to look busy while she added a few canned goods to the box she still had yet to hand over. These were items she barely even glanced at but the weight and the amount felt right to be the rations for two people. She could feel Meg’s eyes on her but the look she got from Ianto was even more distracting. This was sure to earn a mention in his diary. Gwen just hoped he wouldn’t feel the need to tell Jack right away. The immortal had vowed to watch Meg closely but not even Tosh watched the cameras 24/7.
All Gwen really hoped for was a good, uninterrupted conversation. She hadn’t quite worked out what she meant to say but it was long overdue for them to have this talk. Meg had gestured to their exit and Gwen had every intention to follow but an awful delayed reaction hit her just then. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had known that the rations she grabbed were meant for Sherlock but it wasn’t until she registered Meg’s nickname for the detective that she realized this was actually an invitation into their home.
Gwen had cut her ties with Sherlock in order to let her distance from Meg hurt a bit less, but it was pointless. She’d broken down twice and asked him for favours: usually it meant him checking on Meg or getting small messages to her. She loved him too and spent more time than she should have thinking about their better days when Meg had affectionately (and accurately) compared them to the original Enterprise crew. “Okay,” she said finally, figuring she could at least trust herself with a few one-word responses. She made a simple hand gesture that let Ianto know he was in charge and she picked up her box of supplies without another word.
When she finally let herself get a proper look at Meg, she shifted uncomfortably for two reasons: this was the closest they’d been in more than a month’s time. The closeness hurt even more than she’d anticipated it would, and the box was heavier than she’d expected it to be. “I…” She’d have to break the pattern: more words, maybe even a full sentence would come out this time. “I miss you,” she managed. Taking note of the present tense, Gwen nudged the door open with her foot and she scrambled for a less painful approach. “Is he still…?” She waved in the general direction of the South Neighbourhood.
Meg was glad to hear that Gwen accepted the invitation to come inside the home she now shared with Sherlock. It had seemed like forever since the two women had been alone together, and though Meg still held true to her word about telling Gwen not to trust her, she was still glad that the woman was willing to defy it. It just proved to Meg that Gwen was as stubborn as she knew all along, but also willing to take the risk to being near… and possibly once again, with the demon once more.
Meg arched a brow as Gwen shifted. Reaching forward, and possibly passing through the unspoken boundary, Meg placed her hands on the box and gave Gwen a look. “Let me carry it.” Not really giving Gwen the time to reply, Meg gently pulled the box from the other woman’s grip and shifted herself so that it rested comfortably in her arms. Though, Meg realized as she took the box, they were already at the home. Sighing at herself, Meg placed the box down onto the floor before turning to give Gwen a look.
"I miss you too," Frowning, Meg glanced down towards the ground before looking back up and making eye contact with her ex, "a lot." There really wasn’t a day where Meg hadn’t thought about Gwen since the two had broken up. She really did miss her and she was relieved that Gwen had admitted it first. Feeling Gwen shift the conversation, Meg raised a brow and looked around the room before glancing towards the stairs.
"What? Sherly?" Turning her gaze back to Gwen, Meg narrowed her eyes in confusion before volunteering information. "He’s eating, if that’s what you meant. Or, rather, food is disappearing from the fridge." Shrugging, Meg vowed to herself that she would only worry if Sherlock became weak, and so far he seemed pretty healthy. "Or were you asking if he is here? In that case, I don’t know, I mean I can call out and see." Frowning once more, Meg tilted her head to the side. "He’s still your friend. He might be mad, and I don’t know why, because it was my fault but… you know… it’s Sherly.”
Manip Request: Sherlock Holmes, Meg Masters, Gwen Cooper and Lucifer hanging out.